Dustin Pedroia is hurt. He may have been hurt for weeks now. He may miss significant time due to this injury. This amounts to the team ignoring a potentially serious injury and making it worse.

But Marco Scutaro may be available! That’s a cool thing.

Sunday against the White Sox, Josh Beckett threw 120+ pitches at the behest of celebrity-bigtime manager Bobby Valentine. Now he’s going to miss his next start due to lat soreness and may end up on the DL if things get worse.

In the meantime, the team has signed Mark Prior to a minor league deal. I can’t think of an appropriate joke, this is just so damn comical on its own.

Kevin Youkilis is having a slow start to the season, and you know what that means! Yup, it’s time to bring up the prospect that everyone touts as a guaranteed sure thing. In this case, Pawtucket’s Will Middlebrooks.

First of all, Will ain’t a superstar prospect. He’s on a ridiculous hot streak to start the season, yes. So was Ryan Lavarnway in the middle of last year, and he’s back in Pawtucket getting things sorted out. But Will isn’t a bad prospect either. His OPS has improved from the mid .700’s to the mid .800’s in his rise through the Red Sox system, and by all accounts he’s a very stable defensive player.

Remember that Will is a capable defensive player with a bat that has the potential to be above-average. Think “useful #5-6 hitter,” not “Dustin Pedroia at third.” This hot streak is exactly that, a hot streak. Sooner or later he’s going to cool down and look like the solidly above-average corner-infield guy that he is. If everything works out then he should hit his prime in a few years and be a useful player for years to come, hopefully with Boston and not some team that he gets pawned off to in July.

Alas sweet Prince, you were too fair for this world known as Detroit. Perhaps you got on base at an abysmal rate, and you struck out a ton, but you played many positions and hit sort of well in the playoffs last year. And for that, we thank you. Not me personally, I root for a different team. But the baseball comedy you provided will always give me a reason to look back and laugh.

May your wandering spirit find a home in Oakland, or on some National League team. A place where the ability to play anywhere on the field without actually being able to hit is looked upon with admiration instead of mild derision. Good luck. We’re rooting for you. Some of us.

Glad you asked!

Things don’t look good in Boston right now. The team is 4-10, three of those wins coming off of Tampa’s horrible bullpen. The team’s celebrity manager recently threw one of his star players under the bus in reaction to his slow start. Clay Buchholz gave up five home runs to the Yankees during Fenway Park’s 100th anniversary game. Jacoby Ellsbury was struck by lightning. Dustin Pedroia joined the Black Panthers. I could go on.

But are the Red Sox that bad off? I mean, this season? Because you remember that we’ve won the World Series twice in the last ten years right? Sure the lineup is filled with “veteran presence” types and players who were brought in to replace injured players who were brought in to replace other injured players. Sure Daniel Bard needs to be removed from the rotation right this fucking minute because he doesn’t belong anywhere near it. Sure front-office appears to be filled with high-functioning idiots following the lead of someone who thinks the most important facet of any organization is getting as much media exposure as possible instead of putting out the best team possible.

But, um….

It’s fixable! The team still has money, even if they’re blowing a lot of it on a Premiere League franchise for no apparent reason (any Brits who stumble on this blog should know they are welcome to take the team back by force if necessary). There are still some very talented players on the roster, and Ellsbury will hopefully be back by June at the latest. Maybe all the smart people in the organization will band together and throw Larry Lucchino off of the MIT bridge. Being awful could inspire a change in philosophy away from quick-fix John Lackeys and Carl Crawfords. And did I mention that the team started the season against some of the best competition in the AL? They’re playing the Twins, White Sox, and A’s next. Things could look much better very soon.

Q: If Dave Cameron was one of the X-Men, who would he be?

A: Marrow