Your Prospect Sucks


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Analyzing the Names of the 2013 Draft

Baseball America their first big board for the 2013 Draft.  Let’s take an early look at the top names of the draft. On the whole, it doesn’t look as good as last year’s draft (which, to be fair, was generational, giving us names like Zebulon Sneed, Styrker Trahan, Torsten Boss, and, of course, Brett Mooneyham). There are still some names that are at least a 60 on the name tool 20-80 scale.

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The Future: To the Devil Rays, one of the most endearing aspects of [Josh] Hamilton’s game is his single-minded focus on playing baseball. He has a family-oriented, blue-collar personality that should help him through the highs and lows of minor league baseball.

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Just to say [Bud] Smith is poised doesn’t do him justice. He’s unflappable on the mound and always thinks a step ahead of batters. He’s like Rick Ankiel with his advanced approach, good curveball and excellent changeup, though his fastball is a few ticks slower. But he might have a better feel for pitching, which earns the inevitable comparison to Tom Glavine

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Baseball America released a bunch of their old prospect ranking archives today and it’s pretty much the best. Here’s why:

Kansas City hasn’t had a lefthander win more than 10 games in a season since 1988. That drought should end soon, with [Chris] George and youngsters Jimmy Gobble and Mike Stodolka on the way. 

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This week in Jose Canseco….

Jose later skipped out on the Special Olympics with an “injury” so he could travel to California.

Jose shouted this from the driver’s side window of his SUV as he rammed it into another ex-girlfriend’s vehicle.

Jose was later informed that people who fly strapped to the wings normally do not receive television privileges.

Monday was another big day for Jose as he got to present the first published work in his return to the literary world.

It was a dark and stormy night, the needles fell in droves — except for occasional intervals, when they were interrupted by bouts of violent sobbing.

"I am rubber, you are glue" - Jose Canseco, Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Jose would like you to picture him sitting behind a magnificent oaken desk in front of a shelf lined with fancy books as you read this tweet. A phone number appears beneath him. Call now!

The entire city of Worcester, Massachusetts slowly raises their hands and then quickly puts them down.

Jose quietly mumbles something about a waitress and then erases half of a tweet. Somewhere, a dog howls.

Jose fails to elaborate but rumors persist that he is in negotiations to be the person who wears a Pepsi can costume and dances outside Taco Bell.

And there you have it. As of six PM eastern, Jose is currently headed to Texas in order to work out deals and play some baseball his way. Anybody need a DH? Tune in next week to find out!

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Love Eternal

Little Dayton had a shortstop that they wouldn’t let him keep, so he put him up for sale at a price he thought was cheap.

Dayton took him to a neighbor to ask him for advice, he said “leave the Yuni here and I’ll give him his last rites.”

But the Yuni came back, he wouldn’t stay away. He was sitting on the bench the very next day.

The Yuni came back, he didn’t want to roam. The very next day it was Kansas City, sweet home.

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Not that the Red Sox farm is bad or anything but….

Red Sox “prospect” (and I use the same quotation-mark joke that the entire Internet is using) Shaq Green-Thompson struck out five more times yesterday. This gives him 36 strikeouts in 37 at bats for the Gulf Coast League Red Sox. Somebody paid this guy to play baseball.

But hey! He has a stolen base and a run scored! And a higher IsoD than Mike Aviles! Maybe there’s hope for this kid after all.